You are alone. You have a child/children that you are responsible for every single day. Day in and day out. You get up early to get everyone off to school and daycare, you go to work, you go to school. You grind. You sacrifice. But you didn’t get here alone, did you? NO, not by a long shot. You have been placed in a certain life circumstance that has led you to be a single mom, whether that be a tragic death of your partner, where he left for another woman, whether he’s just a flat-out deadbeat, know that you’re not alone. I’ve been there, I’ve been where you are and it’s painful. The information I want to share with you is what I wish someone would have told me. I had no one to help with dealing with my loneliness, so it usually ended with me making horrible decisions based off of my emotions. So what I’m going to do is give you is an action plan for when you are feeling lonely
STEP ONE: Acknowledge Your Emotions
It is okay not be a 100%. It’s okay to be at a low point. Your emotions are valid. Contemplate on why you’re feeling this way. Do you feel lonely because you want to be in a relationship? Are you feeling lonely because you have no one to share the highs and lows of parenting with? Decipher what it is. Then take a deep breath and understand that life happens, things don’t always go the way they are supposed to go BUT you have your health, you have a beautiful child/children, and you have the capability to make your life better every day that you open your eyes.
A glimpse at what loneliness looks like:
STEP TWO: Find Some Good Affirmations
After you get done wiping your tears away and being frustrated and feeling down, immediately turn to something positive. What works best for me is I follow a lot of inspirational quote pages on Instagram and when I’m feeling down I literally just scroll through pages of positive quotes and after about 10 min of doing this, I am no longer sad ,I usually end up feeling incredibly inspired , and ready to work.
(Can’t find any good affirmations or quotes? I have compiled some affirmation here on the site click here)
STEP THREE: STAY OFF SOCIAL MEDIA
Get off social media. When you’re feeling lonely and your scrolling through your timeline seeing all the happy couples and groups of friends will not help you, it makes it worse! Trust your journey, trust your life’s timing. One day it will be your time to shine as long as you put in the effort now. So when you are feeling down. Do not tune into ANY social media.
STEP FOUR: Use This Time To Re-evaluate
Have you gotten all the negativity out of your life? Reevaluate your circle. Are your friends pushing you to strive to be successful? Are they being productive? If the answer is no, then definitely reassess these relationships. Who you allow yourself to be around has a lot to do with your actions. I’m not implicating that you are a follower, I’m simply stating a positive social circle will keep you’re in a more positive mind frame.
STEP FIVE: What Areas Can You Improve Upon
Now that you have gotten out of your funk, it’s time to take action. I use every opportunity of being in a low place to plan my next move. A lot of amazing things come from a place of darkness. Ready to go back to school? Email the admission department for more information or schedule an appointment. Ready to lose weight? Get up right now and go for a run or walk. Plan your next moves for the next hour. You will be so busy planning things to do your mood will switch from being lonely to super motivated and productive.
STEP SIX: Find a Good Support Team
Now this a very crucial piece. Find a trusted person to vent to. Remember, be cautious who you vent too. But it’s always good to have someone to talk things through with because they can give you a better outlook on life.
STEP EIGHT: Write It Down
Write it down if you don’t have anyone to talk too. ( I literally have like 2 friends) Pour all your feelings into a journal. It can become your best friend, paper can’t judge or tell a soul! I write 90% of the time and when I’m done writing and I don’t feel the need to express my frustrations anymore.
(Don’t have a journal? Here are some of my favorites)
Being a single mom is so incredibly hard, I’ve been there. I’m still there. But together we can get out of it. Know that you are a queen and there IS something amazing at the end of the tunnel, waiting just for you! Just keep working hard mama!